It's all in how you ask

A friend of mind came to me with a problem that her feelings had been hurt. Her mother was visiting from out of town and on the next to the last day before she was to leave she asked her to come over for dinner and that she needed to spend some alone time with mom. Her mother said that she was burned out and couldn't do it, that she had been visiting with family for two weeks and needed some down time. My friend was really hurt that her mom would not be there for her and it brought up all the times in the past that she had felt that her mom hadn't been there for her.

After being with this for a while it occurred to me that she had set her mom up. I asked her to consider what would have happened if very early in the visit she had pulled her mother aside and let her know how important it was that she have some alone time with her and how much it would mean if she would come to her house for dinner. This really stopped her as she said she had never thought of it but that she knew that her mom would get it and be there for her.

How we ask for what we want has everything to do with the results we get. She had an expectation that her mother would not be there and in waiting till the last moment she set her up to prove her right.

If we keep getting results that we don't like, we have to think way outside the box to get different results. I believe that we are responsible for the results that we get from our asking.

Jackson Hole/Yellowstone Wyoming

My wife and I just got back from a 2600 mile road trip. We left LA went through Las Vegas, saw my family in Salt Lake and headed for Jackson Hole, Wyoming. We went on a wildlife tour where we saw Moose, Elk, Antelope and a herd of Buffalo. To see my pictures go to my Smugmug gallery.
Our guide Reed from Wildlife Expeditions of Teton Wildlife Expeditions did a great job but what really made the whole trip for me was a tip he gave about the most photographed location in Jackson Hole. Now the big deal about a place like that is to get a shot that will stand out from the average snap shot of a particular location. But you have to show up, the next morning I got up before sunup and headed for the Mormon Barn. This barn is in the middle of the Antelope reserve. When ever you see an advertisement for Jackson Hole you will see this barn with the Grand Tetons behind it. See above. When I got there as the sun was coming up in the East, as it always does, There is the normal amount of cars for a good photo site. How ever this day there happened to be a photo crew from BBC doing a photo shoot. The hired 2 cowboys and 6 horses. So for 2 hours we got to shoot behind the photographer as the cowboys walked and ran back and forth in front of the barn. The light was great and now there was something to make a static landscape photo into something much more exciting. Certainly different from the typical shot of this fabulous location. There were about 15 photographers there to start with and then more and more people showed up. It was great and we all had a lot of fun as we all hung out together.
Thanks Reed for going beyond us taking us to see the animals.

Cheryl and Jeanette

I had a photo shoot yesterday with two women friends of mine. It was really a good one. I have shot them before but this time I set up my lights and worked with them to create some really great stuff. I am pretty hard on myself and these I say are good.
What do you think?

A friend is moving

I said good bye to Missy Mulloy today. She is driving back to Florida with an old boy friend.

She has proved to be a great friend. She is going to be with her daughter who is in college and is out for the summer. Missy is going for other good reasons and I pray that she get what she needs. She says she'll be back and I trust that she will. I know that we will always be friends no matter where she is in the world.
Thank you Missy.
Love David

Resentment

I had a major awakening this week. My wife and I have been going through our stuff which is a good reason to be in a relationship. Sometimes I think if your stuff is not coming up then your not playing hard enough.

I have a resentment that goes very deep and as I really look at it, it is very old. I think that the resentments that I developed as I grew up are still in place. I have noticed that I set things up with my wife so that those resentments stay in place. I may complain about things not being the way I would have them but I do the same things over and over and get the same results each time. More specifically, I know the things that will make my wife happy but I don't do them so that I can keep my resentment in place. I complain that if she would only do this or be that then I would be happy and feel loved. But I don't do the things that will allow her to really show up for me. Instead I do the things that reinforce the long lingering resentment. I think I am pretty connected and aware and yet when it comes to being really loved and feeling really loved that's a different matter.

What the resentment is doesn't matter. It was created out of a place that is different than today's. Yet I still keep creating the drama that will reaffirm that I am right. So I guess the lesson is to own my part in the drama as being my creation and when I do that I am empowered be responsible for what I have and for the results that I get. If I want to get different results then change the way I see things and the way I set things up. I think that is the only way to truly get different results. And when the results I am looking for is to be loved and feel loved there is a lot at stake.

Let me know what you think, I am open for suggestions.
David
Oh yes, I know this doesn't have much to do with Photography but it's whats up front right now.

My Review of SanDisk 8 GB Extreme III Compact Flash Memory Card

Originally submitted at Adorama

SanDisk 8 GB Extreme III Compact Flash Memory Card

SanDisk 8 GB Extreme III Compact Flash Memory Card

I love this card

By DN the Photoman from Los Angeles on 1/14/2009

 

4out of 5

Pros: Reliable

Best Uses: Digital Capture, Digital Photography

Describe Yourself: Semi-pro Photographer

It's great to have this size. Great price.

(legalese)

My Grandson. I now see why grand parents can be so into ther grand-children. Connor is soo cute.

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