What I am learning along the way.

Mom

2011-09-21T18:26:00.000-07:00

What it's like after Mom's passing.

2011-09-15T11:32:00.000-07:00

It has now been 2 weeks and with the funeral and the trip to Salt Lake behind me I am back in LA trying to get my life started again. I have been through a sea of emotions. I realize how I had shut her out as much as I could. Just doing what was necessary to see that she was taken care of. Her passing pushed her into the fore front. I spent some extra time driving home from Salt Lake and went though the Eastern side of Utah and Arizona. During the ride I contemplated her life, remembering what the early years were like when she struggled to take care of 6 children and my Dad. I remembered how she had this dissatisfaction about her always wanting something other that what she had. I see that dissatisfaction in myself and now have an understanding of where I got it. I hope that helps me to release it in my self.
I also have been feeling really sad. This too, was something my Mom lived with. The saddest thing is that for so long I didn't feel her. I failed to ask my Mom "what was her greatest regret in her life". I guess I didn't want to know the answer to that. She let us know all the time what she missed or wanted. That lingering dissatisfaction.
I have to apologize if this sounds harsh to those who knew her, but this is just my process. Please don't get me wrong, I loved my mother as a son should, I just didn't like her sometimes.

My Mom's Funeral speech.

2011-09-07T22:55:00.001-07:00

Geraldine Ruth (Isenberg) Newey

The Isenberg’s emigrated from Germany and first settled in Pennsylvania. Mom’s parents Jesse and Blanch Isenberg left with their 5 children and headed West for California. They made it as far as Troy Kansas about 15 miles West of St. Joseph Mo. This is where the car broke down and that is where they settled. Mom was born there on April 30, 1922 the youngest of 6 children, five girls and one brother. Her mother died when she was only 6 years old and sometime later her father remarried and took mom and some of her family and headed to Sacramento Ca. She lived with them for a short while but did not get along well with her step mother. One day her step mother packed up Mom and put her on a bus and sent her unannounced back to Kansas to live with her sisters. They took her in and she was raised by them.

She loved her father and he died when she was 16 and mom was on her own. She graduated from Central High School.

Mom and Dad met on Mom’s 18th birthday. Dad worked at a place that a girlfriend of mom’s worked at. She told Dad that there was a woman he should meet. He called her up and mom said “I don’t even know you”. Dad talked her into going out with him. He shows up all gussied up and his hair all slicked down and he had on this off white suit and these weird square towed shoes… “She thought – what am I getting into.”
Dad was persistent and they were married on Jan 24, 1942. Dad had been in the navy before the war but 6 months before Pear Harbor he was discharged due to an inner ear problem. After Pear Harbor they were married and dad reenlisted this time in the Army.

One of my Dad’s favorite things was cherry pie. Mom told the story of how when dad was over seas she practiced making pie crust. She threw out lots of dough until she got it right. I have to tell you all of her life she made the best pies.

I was born on May the 8th 1944 while the war was still on. It was after that Dad was sent to Siapan and Guam. Mom and dad finally got to have their life together after the war was over. Dad had been trained as a photographer and mom and dad worked as a team taking pictures in night clubs. Mom would take the pictures and dad would work in basement darkroom making the prints that would be delivered to the partiers. Growing up I remember watching my dad make prints in the bathroom that had been turned into a photo lab, today I am a photographer.

We lived several places over the next few years until we ended up in apartments at Rosecrans Field Airport in St Joe. The Missouri river flooded in 1952 and we had to move out. I remember riding in a truck that my dad had borrowed from his boss looking out the window and seeing sand bags holding back the water while we got out. Mom had 4 kids and no place to live. They found an upstairs apartment and we all moved into that small space. Dad borrowed money from a member of the branch Dr. Benson and purchased a parcel of land on Miller Rd. He rented a tent and we moved into it. Mom stood by dad and managed the kids, while dad and members of the church built us a small 4 room house. We moved into that house with dirt floors. This was not her ideal but what was true for her was her family was the most important thing in her life. She made it work and the stuck it out eventually creating a home for 6 children.

What I remember most was that there was never enough money but somehow mom always had food for us and we always sat down as a family and had dinner together. We never went to bed hungry. She was determined that her family would have it better than she did a child.

We always had a garden and we raised the best tomatoes. But we never really raised enough so dad would go to the farmers market in St. Joe and buy bushels of vegetables for mom to can. I remember sitting around in the shade of the house and snapping green beans or husking corn. Mom would can enough for us to eat all year long. Picture this, the heat of Missouri in August, no air conditioning and mom working over a pressure cooker putting up green beans, corn or tomatoes.

Another memory I have was riding in the front seat of the car with my sister and a brother sitting between us. When ever she would have to come to a quick stop she would through out her right arm to keep us in our seats. Of course there was no such thing as seat belts in those days.

Mom worked at different times to earn extra money so she could have things she wanted. She worked at the Christmas tree ornament plant in St. Joe making bubble lights. But mostly she wanted to be a nurse. She had left nursing school to get married because you couldn’t be married and attend the school. Her sister Alice had become a RN and mom had to settle for being a nurse’s aid. For a long time she worked as a surgical tech. at Missouri Methodist Hospital and she loved this. By this time she had 6 kids, worked, made meals, took care of dad and kept the house going.

My mother loved her family, they were the most important thing to her. All her life she felt that when she was a child that she had been passed around from sister to sister or as she would say “from pillar to post”. She was determined that was not going to happen to her children. She made it work in spite of life not meeting her expectations. Both of my parents did the best they could to give their children a life with both parents there. What they got out of that was the family we have today. Thank you Mom for all you did for us.

Cleaning out my Mom and Dad's house

2011-09-06T23:29:00.000-07:00

My Mom passed away on Sept 1st. My wife and I met most of my family in Salt Lake City Utah for the job of cleaning out the house and making the necessary arrangements for her funeral. We all meat today and cleaned out various parts of my parents house and went through their life time of stuff. Both my parents kept everything it seemed, but in that we found the most amazing family treasures. My dad had built my mother a cedar lined chest. It was buried in the very back of the garage behind all of my dads tools and stuff. The chest was the last thing well pulled from the garage and we found their most treasured things, among them were mine and my sisters baby clothes in blue and pink complete with booties and shoes, the bride and groom from my parents wedding cake, a Japanese flag from WWII and more photographs. We all worked together to sort through their life time of memories, pictures, papers and stuff. People complained that they kept everything, but turned out that was good thing. We found almost every greeting card we had ever sent them. We have boxes of photographs covering everything.We even found a newspaper announcing the victory of the war. Everyone did great and really worked well together. Wow what a job. But I must say it was much easier than I expected. We have more to do but we distributed their precious memories on to the 3 generations that were there. Tomorrow we have a private viewing and then on Thursday the funeral.

Who we love

2011-08-28T23:33:00.000-07:00

Why do we love those who don't love us back? Actually they don't love us the way we want them to love us. I think that is a big part of the problem. We have a distorted view of what it is to be loved. When the people in our lives don't love us quite right we tend to go crazy. It's actually the going crazy that is the real hint that something is off in the way we want to be loved. It's really not "them" that is responsible for our grief, it's the way we perceive things.

Repeating Our Parents Mistakes

2011-08-27T00:42:00.000-07:00

Are we really destine to repeat our parents mistakes? I say probably but not necessarily. Probably because most of us are not really awake to what we do and why we do it. What we saw in our parents could be construed to be normal unconsciously and therefore that is what we play out. Learn from our parents and don't repeat their mistakes.
As far as not necessarily, wake up and know who you are and seek help from those who have gone there before you. A lot of pain can be avoided if one asks for help. That's part of waking up, asking for help.

Get Over It.

2011-08-23T00:08:00.000-07:00

The power of "Get Over It" is amazing. We all have a story of what happened or what didn't happen. The story we tell our selves about what happen truly does determine the experience we have about the memory of what happen. If we could really get that shit happens, people are unconscious and don't know any better. If they knew better they wouldn't do the stupid shit that they do. Most people want to do the best they can they just don't know any better than where they are at the time.
Really the only way out of that abyss is to let go and to "Get Over It". If you can really forgive those that did what they did then you would no longer see it as a wrong. Forgiveness is the only way out, thus "Get Over It".

Letting Go

2011-08-16T23:11:00.000-07:00

So what does it take to let go? I say it means you have to be open to the other possibility. Without being able to really see the other possibility you cant really see your own, because you are only seeing what you already know. You have to let in the impossible, that lives out side of the box. Its the box that has us confined to repeat the past. Think of the impossible, that's how you let go.

Being Present

2011-08-11T23:32:00.000-07:00

I had a session today with a person and we talked about being present. How does one hold on to their self when they are upset at what is going on out there? One possibility is that we choose upset so we dont have to feel our self. Its a way of deflecting the attention out there on the world so we dont have to look at our self, how we feel, what we need or even just being present.
Winning formula's and strategies came up as ways we have developed to handle life and for some just be able to manage life as it happens. These strategies and winning formulas are what we figured out that works in life so we can succeed and even just get by. Conflict comes up when the world happens out side of our box. The box of what works and what is right and what is wrong.
In this case the relationship was not playing out the way this person expected it to. Their partner operated from a whole different box and there in was the problem.
So how do we stay present when this stuff comes at us the way it does. I say we have to be willing to step out side of the safety of our box and see what is happening from another point of view to be able to be fully present. When we do that we are in the present moment on not just blindly operating from the same old paradigm.
Now this is not easy to do, but the first step to change is seeing what is up from a larger view and then watching it. Just the act of watching requires us to be present and with practice we can begin to make better decisions about what is real and what is not and how to react.

Why do we get the same pain over and over again.

2011-06-09T23:40:00.000-07:00

I define ego as that story we make up about who we are and what we believe to be true and right. We will do almost anything to keep that story in place. It is the summation of all that we believe to be true and when someone or something bounces off of that belief and challenges it because it doesn't agree with the story they have in mind, we will do what ever we can to show them that our way is right. In fact it is right for you, the problem is applying our way of things being right to other people. If we could just get that our opinion is really only important to our ego. If we could accept things to just be the way they are and not make a judgement about them our lives would be almost bliss.

"It is the decision that we make about what happened that determines our experience of what happen." At the moment of decision we make a choice about what happened and in making the choice that something is wrong, "wrongness" can and does show up. If you had chosen rightness then that is what shows up. If you had no reaction to the "what happened" then you don't even notice it.

So I think the trick is to be in charge of what we hold as true and right.

David's Pina Colada

2010-07-07T22:05:00.000-07:00

Half a blender of crushed ice
Coconut milk
1/2 half a banana
fresh pineapples
lime juice
little sugar
Rum

It's all in how you ask

2009-10-23T15:00:00.000-07:00

A friend of mind came to me with a problem that her feelings had been hurt. Her mother was visiting from out of town and on the next to the last day before she was to leave she asked her to come over for dinner and that she needed to spend some alone time with mom. Her mother said that she was burned out and couldn't do it, that she had been visiting with family for two weeks and needed some down time. My friend was really hurt that her mom would not be there for her and it brought up all the times in the past that she had felt that her mom hadn't been there for her.

After being with this for a while it occurred to me that she had set her mom up. I asked her to consider what would have happened if very early in the visit she had pulled her mother aside and let her know how important it was that she have some alone time with her and how much it would mean if she would come to her house for dinner. This really stopped her as she said she had never thought of it but that she knew that her mom would get it and be there for her.

How we ask for what we want has everything to do with the results we get. She had an expectation that her mother would not be there and in waiting till the last moment she set her up to prove her right.

If we keep getting results that we don't like, we have to think way outside the box to get different results. I believe that we are responsible for the results that we get from our asking.

Jackson Hole/Yellowstone Wyoming

2009-07-07T15:57:00.000-07:00

My wife and I just got back from a 2600 mile road trip. We left LA went through Las Vegas, saw my family in Salt Lake and headed for Jackson Hole, Wyoming. We went on a wildlife tour where we saw Moose, Elk, Antelope and a herd of Buffalo. To see my pictures go to my Smugmug gallery.
Our guide Reed from Wildlife Expeditions of Teton Wildlife Expeditions did a great job but what really made the whole trip for me was a tip he gave about the most photographed location in Jackson Hole. Now the big deal about a place like that is to get a shot that will stand out from the average snap shot of a particular location. But you have to show up, the next morning I got up before sunup and headed for the Mormon Barn. This barn is in the middle of the Antelope reserve. When ever you see an advertisement for Jackson Hole you will see this barn with the Grand Tetons behind it. See above. When I got there as the sun was coming up in the East, as it always does, There is the normal amount of cars for a good photo site. How ever this day there happened to be a photo crew from BBC doing a photo shoot. The hired 2 cowboys and 6 horses. So for 2 hours we got to shoot behind the photographer as the cowboys walked and ran back and forth in front of the barn. The light was great and now there was something to make a static landscape photo into something much more exciting. Certainly different from the typical shot of this fabulous location. There were about 15 photographers there to start with and then more and more people showed up. It was great and we all had a lot of fun as we all hung out together.
Thanks Reed for going beyond us taking us to see the animals.

Cheryl and Jeanette

2009-05-24T00:20:00.000-07:00

I had a photo shoot yesterday with two women friends of mine. It was really a good one. I have shot them before but this time I set up my lights and worked with them to create some really great stuff. I am pretty hard on myself and these I say are good.
What do you think?

A friend is moving

2009-04-29T13:03:00.000-07:00

I said good bye to Missy Mulloy today. She is driving back to Florida with an old boy friend.

She has proved to be a great friend. She is going to be with her daughter who is in college and is out for the summer. Missy is going for other good reasons and I pray that she get what she needs. She says she'll be back and I trust that she will. I know that we will always be friends no matter where she is in the world.
Thank you Missy.
Love David

Resentment

2009-03-24T18:27:00.000-07:00

I had a major awakening this week. My wife and I have been going through our stuff which is a good reason to be in a relationship. Sometimes I think if your stuff is not coming up then your not playing hard enough.

I have a resentment that goes very deep and as I really look at it, it is very old. I think that the resentments that I developed as I grew up are still in place. I have noticed that I set things up with my wife so that those resentments stay in place. I may complain about things not being the way I would have them but I do the same things over and over and get the same results each time. More specifically, I know the things that will make my wife happy but I don't do them so that I can keep my resentment in place. I complain that if she would only do this or be that then I would be happy and feel loved. But I don't do the things that will allow her to really show up for me. Instead I do the things that reinforce the long lingering resentment. I think I am pretty connected and aware and yet when it comes to being really loved and feeling really loved that's a different matter.

What the resentment is doesn't matter. It was created out of a place that is different than today's. Yet I still keep creating the drama that will reaffirm that I am right. So I guess the lesson is to own my part in the drama as being my creation and when I do that I am empowered be responsible for what I have and for the results that I get. If I want to get different results then change the way I see things and the way I set things up. I think that is the only way to truly get different results. And when the results I am looking for is to be loved and feel loved there is a lot at stake.

Let me know what you think, I am open for suggestions.
David
Oh yes, I know this doesn't have much to do with Photography but it's whats up front right now.

My Review of SanDisk 8 GB Extreme III Compact Flash Memory Card

2009-01-14T19:17:00.001-08:00

Originally submitted at Adorama

SanDisk 8 GB Extreme III Compact Flash Memory Card

I love this card

By DN the Photoman from Los Angeles on 1/14/2009

Pros: Reliable

Best Uses: Digital Capture, Digital Photography

Describe Yourself: Semi-pro Photographer

It's great to have this size. Great price.

(legalese)

2008-09-01T00:32:00.001-07:00

My Grandson. I now see why grand parents can be so into ther grand-children. Connor is soo cute.

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080808 What a day?

2008-08-08T23:50:00.000-07:00

What an interesting day. August 8, 2008. Click on the title above and go to the Flickr 888 Group. 3722 pictures and counting, all taken today from all over the world. Be sure to click on the slide show icon and hit f-11 to view it large. Here is my entry with 19 8's on it. I think its pretty cool.

My Review of Lowepro D-Pods 50 Pouch for a Large Digital or 35mm Camera, Black.

2008-08-06T15:08:00.001-07:00

Originally submitted at Adorama

Lowepro D-Pods 50 Pouch for a Large Digital or 35mm Camera, Black.

Good case has one draw back

By DNewey from Los Angeles Ca on 8/6/2008

Pros: Easily Accessible Equipment, Lightweight, Well Padded

Cons: Inside pouch not secure

Best Uses: Transporting SLRs

Describe Yourself: Professional

I use this for my G-9 I carry a spare battery in inside pouch and had to add my own Velcro to secure the pouch.

(legalese)

What is RAW format in digital Photography?

2008-08-03T17:52:00.001-07:00

A friend of mine ask me what was RAW, as I had mentioned it in the Blog on my G-9. So here goes: When your digital camera takes a picture the data that it collects is the raw data. Most point and shoot camera do not allow just that information to be stored. Most Digital SLR's do. Your camera must process that raw data into a picture. It makes adjustments to the data to put it together as a picture and then it is saved in generally a JPEG formant. That is what you see on the preview screen or when you review it from the camera. It is also what gets transferred to your computer and once it is a JPEG there is only limited adjustments that can be made to it and when you do that some of the image is lost. Each time you open it and save it, it gets compressed over and over and it just getts worse.

Enter RAW. The ability to save the raw data and then import it into your computer gives you the control over it. It becomes like master file. It's like the negatives we had when we had film. With the RAW data you can open it, make adjustments to it with much greater latitude and then save it in what ever format you want. All the time you get to preserve the original data and go back to it and make any new changes to the image you choose and save it as another image.
What's really cool about this is that you can adjust the exposure by about 3 stops either way up or down. So a really dark image can be saved. You can also adjust the color and make it what ever you want and take out color casts, that we have learned to live with with film. It's like going into a dark room and having full control of the out put and do it in real time. Meaning you can see the effects of your adjustment right before your eyes. Before we shot the film and sent it out and had little or no control of what you got back. Today we make adjustments to get the picture we saw or the picture we want and then sent the file to the next level called "output". That could be print, the web or your computer screen.

So why not just let the camera decide the adjustments and be done with it? You could do that if
you make the proper settings on your camera and make sure that it is exposed properly and end up with a good image. Look these cameras today are so smart today it's hard to take a really bad picture. But most people don't even read the manual and learn how to use their camera. RAW is not an excuse to shoot poorly so you can adjust it latter. In fact it is more crucial with today's cameras to get it right the first time. As a professional I want to know that I am getting the best exposure possible and be completely in charge of the light but that's not always possible. I do know how to shoot properly but there are so many variables that have to be taken into consideration. With RAW all I have to really do is compose and watch my exposure and the rest I do in post production. This frees me to take the picture and be with what I am doing which is often interacting with my subjects.

I will stop there for now.

Thanks for visiting and please come back.

Click here if you want more detail

Bus Stop Characters

2008-08-01T09:44:00.000-07:00

Do you think your life is tough? Try this person's life. Some time ago I gave myself an assignment to shoot pictures of people at bus stops. I drive a lot around LA and the people at bus stops are varied. Every now and then something powerful like this image comes my way. I often don't get a chance to look close and am pleased when I process them and find something as interesting as this one. The common thing is people waiting. Of course there is waiting for the next bus but how people are with each other really shows up. I wonder what this man is waiting for. Maybe for his swelling to go down so he can put his shoes on. The other thing is that his wheel chair is loaded with his stuff so he can't use it.

I see this and am thankful for my life and my health.
To see more bus stop pictures go to my Flickr Set "Bus Stop Photo's"

Scavenging the Recycle Bins of Los Angeles

2008-07-24T23:35:00.000-07:00

Every Thursday we put out our trash cans to be picked up on Friday. Any time between Thursday afternoon and Friday morning this person or others like her make the rounds of our neighborhood's Recycle bins. Scavenging our plastic and aluminum and I am sure selling it. Some how this bothers me. I go to the effort to recycle so this person can come by and steal it. Now, it's not a huge deal except that the City of Los Angeles charges me to pick up my trash and I am sure that the money the City makes on the plastic bottles and aluminum cans helps to pay for the cost of picking it up. So my question is why should these people make a living off of our recycling bins?
By the way these pictures are of her checking my neighbors can before it was even on the street.
What do you think?

Check out "Now Public"

2008-07-22T18:09:00.000-07:00

Click on the tile to go to "Now Public". It is a very cool site and has a lot going on.

This is Anya, who is from Russia and is working at Century City for the Summer. Thanks for the picture Anya.

Elisabeth is Leaving

2008-07-18T14:40:00.000-07:00

This is my great friend Elisabeth Rossi. She is packing her PT Cruiser and leaving town.
Her husband works for United Airlines and yes he still has a job. To keep it he had to transfer to SFO. This is her packing, and when I say packing that includes her wonderful two children Leo who is 8 and Evi who is 6 and driving to Redwood City to start a new life there. We have been close friends with Lee and Elisabeth for at least 15 years. She is holding it as an adventure and is in the allowing of life to lead her where she needs to go.
Often we don't have a clue as to why but what seems to work with change is to allow it and go where we are drawn to go. It really is about trusting that everything is always perfect, just the way it should be.
I will miss her, it's kind of amazing to be able to feel so connected to someone. At least now we will have a place to stay when we visit the San Fransisco area. I took a mental picture of the two kids and knew that they would be much older the next time I see them.
This is Evi and Leo, great kids, I look forward to watching them as they grow up. It should be very interesting. So good bye to the Rossi's. We love you.

I got my Canon G-9 back

2008-07-16T18:59:00.000-07:00

About a week ago I left my Canon G-9 in a restaurant and didn't miss it until I got home. Oh well.... That's life. It gives me the opportunity to buy a new camera and let me tell you I love my G-9 and when I unpacked my new one today I felt like lost child just came home.
The exposure to loss could be lessen by leaving it at home and in the box. But not me. I have that camera with me everywhere and if I don't I have my Nikon D-200 with me.
The G-9 is a great camera and really is a pleasure to shoot with.
I chose it because it shot RAW. But it does so much more.
Most of my street photography is shot with the G-9. It is less intrusive in public, I can shoot from the hip, as it were, and I can shoot from the car with out having to put it to my eye and block my view. I do have a rule that I never hold up traffic by shooting a picture, unless it is such a great shot I can't help it.
There is so much going on in the world to be a photographer and not be able to react to the moment and capture some slice of time.
I was on a ferry in Washington and had left my camera in the car on the lower deck and we came around a corner and I will never forget the scene, the sun was setting and there was a light house with a little red house next to it and the light was coming in low from the West lighting the face of the lighthouse. It was perfect and me with no camera. I went nuts. Now I will say that I have that picture in my mind better because I couldn't take a picture but it was perfect it's the one that got away. So today I am allowing myself to shoot freely and without much reserve. I get some good stuff and often get lucky.
Keep shooting and leave a note and let me know some one is reading this.
David

So you say you want to be a Photographer

2008-07-15T09:53:00.002-07:00

You have a camera and so now what. Sure you can shoot the kids and stuff around the house and then take it on vacation. But what else is there in the world?
I consider myself a "Street Photographer". I love shooting people on the street doing what they do. Going, being, waiting, walking, running, shopping, eating, driving, just being their self.
I would not have gotten this image above, except that I always have a camera with me ready to shoot. You just never know when life is going to present you with something worth while to record. So, what can you do with this stuff? Share it. The one I like to use is Flickr. (See the link to the right.
Flickr has given me a place to share my work and see what works and get feed back from others. I have over 3800 images up and they have been viewed over 165,000 times. With out the internet how could the average person share their work with so many people?
One of the cool things on Flickr is that people can select an image as a favorite and then you can go to that persons site and see what else they have chosen and then go see that persons work. You can make all of those people a contact and they will be linked up to you. I guess that makes a community. I could go on but I invite you to take pictures and share them.

California Josuha Trees in bloom

2008-07-14T21:38:00.000-07:00

Click on the image to view it large.
This was taken in the Antelope Vally. It was taken with a Nikon D-200, shot in RAW format and post processed in Lightroom.

Unlock the Mystery of Digital Photography

2008-07-14T14:51:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wondered how this digital photography thing works and how you might get the most out of your Camera?
It's not as hard as you think but there are some things to learn.
Start by reading the manual. Don't worry about what you don't understand, there is a learning curve.
Then take some pictures and hook your camera up to the computer and try to download them.
There is probably a CD that came with your camera so put it in and follow the prompts to load it.
Once you get the photos to show up in the computer you are on your way.
Of course this is just the beginning but you have to start here.
I welcome your questions.