A friend of mind came to me with a problem that her feelings had been hurt. Her mother was visiting from out of town and on the next to the last day before she was to leave she asked her to come over for dinner and that she needed to spend some alone time with mom. Her mother said that she was burned out and couldn't do it, that she had been visiting with family for two weeks and needed some down time. My friend was really hurt that her mom would not be there for her and it brought up all the times in the past that she had felt that her mom hadn't been there for her.
After being with this for a while it occurred to me that she had set her mom up. I asked her to consider what would have happened if very early in the visit she had pulled her mother aside and let her know how important it was that she have some alone time with her and how much it would mean if she would come to her house for dinner. This really stopped her as she said she had never thought of it but that she knew that her mom would get it and be there for her.
How we ask for what we want has everything to do with the results we get. She had an expectation that her mother would not be there and in waiting till the last moment she set her up to prove her right.
If we keep getting results that we don't like, we have to think way outside the box to get different results. I believe that we are responsible for the results that we get from our asking.
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