Friday, November 3, 2017

What its like to be appriciated for my work

I started a remodel in July and we just completed, sort of as we have the last things to do, as always.
I have this amazing client who lives in a state of constant  appreciation. At least until the move in happens and there is still work to be done. Anyway we got her moved in a week ago and she fell somewhat apart, she didn't realize how much work was left to be done. Once she surrendered to the fact that there was work to be done and we were not leaving we had the week to get done.
We moved out our stuff and stripped the floor coverings this afternoon. Then I got this text from her tonight:


I’m soooooo very grateful for you and to you! Thank you for everything you have done for me and my family these last several months! You are more than a contractor, you are a therapist, a friend, and like family to me! You are stuck with me now 😜😂🤗! I love you so very much and want you to know how lucky I feel to have you in my life! I’m so sorry for losing my marbles when we first moved in! It was honestly the headrest week I have ever had - marriage, kids, life, in laws, etc. A little too much for me to handle, clearly. You got me through it and I just can’t stop thinking about how blessed I am to have you in my life! I feel like we have known each other in other lives before. You are very important and special to me. I can’t thank you enough from the bottom of my heart - for this Home, you’re incredible hard work, your team, you energy and your love. Thank you for being so wonderful

I have been doing this for over 25 years and this has been an amazing experience.
Thank you Kristen for allowing me to do your work.
David

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Knee Replacement Surgery

    I am going in the hospital in about 12 hours for what is considered major surgery. They are going to replace my right knee joint. It has been described as the most painful surgery that they do. They cut off the bone close to the joint and glue in a titanium socket and insert a plastic cushion. Which is the cartridge that is missing in my existing joint. 40 years ago I had surgery and they removed part that was torn. They did this before the non-evasive procedure that they use now.
    Any way it hurts like hell and has gotten worst in the last few years and I have high hopes to be able to walk again.
    What has been interesting here is preparing for this. I rewrote my will last night. Thinking that I should take care of business. I have every intention in coming home what the responsible thing to do is prepare for the worst. So if I have offended anyone, wronged them in any way "I'm sorry". 
    Lets see, my biggest regret is for having been such a bad father. I was so selfish and did not think of anyone's feelings other than my needs at the time. I have been working on healing that with my two daughters and I think we have made some good progress. I must say I still feel isolated and I know that I am responsible for that. I really do love my daughters and they are turning out to be amazing women, I am really proud of them.
   I am looking forward to the rest of my life I turn 68 next month and my new knee is my gift to my self. I plan on having the kind of mobility it will take to have the kind of life I deserve. I have a lot of miles left in me and they are the best yet to come. It will be nice to walk with out constant pain.
    I really have come to appreciate my wife Sue more in the last few days as I have looked at maybe not coming home from the hospital. We have a deep connection and I realized that we have more work to do. It would be sad to not finish what she and I have together. It's too soon. Thank you Sue for everything.
   I will see you all on the other side.
   


Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Time with Michael

           We just had this amazing time with Michael and Irene. They are old friends of Sues from the 1970's and 80's. "Before David." They all met at some place they all lived together in. Michael happen to live in the next bedroom to Sue. They were all following Muktananda and the magic that he was. Somewhere along the way Michael met Irene, she was 26 or so and Michael was "Oh by the way I'm 54". But it seems that they couldn't help themselves. No matter how the tried to say that this doesn't make any sense it did and they have a son, Benjamin together and they have been married for 28 years or so. What's so cool is that he is 89 and she is 50 or so and loves him like she has for all the years they have been together. Irene is amazing how she just stays in the moment.  It's tough for Michael as he said "its hard to be in this body of an old man" and he still feels like the man he has always been.
            They stayed with us as Irene did a class she had come for. She is a successful therapist and I got to hang out with Michael. Turns out we have a lot in common. We both have daughters who are disappointed in the fathers we were.  I have daughters who have only recently started talking to me and Michael is getting to see his daughter and her children, his grand children, in I don't know how long. Looks like Michael and his daughter had a really nice time catching up healing the disappointments we all seem to have around the job our parent's did. This seems to hit around 40 or so when we see the job we are doing with our children and how it reminds us of how we were raised.
              I have to say that the only real way out of the cycle of disappointment is to wake up and say enough. I think that is what growing up is really about. And oh yes, "it takes as long as it takes". Sometimes longer for some and not so long for others.
             For me it was nice to be with Michale and to see some one who was this close to the end of his life. I could really relate, Michael helped me to see how important it is "to live it while you got it". Thanks Michael. I am going in next month for a total knee replacement surgery and I hope that this gives me the next 25 of my life somewhat pain free. I hope that I can live the rest of my life "making a difference in others lives". Thanks Michael and Irene you are an inspiration.

   

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Thursday, September 15, 2011

What it's like after Mom's passing.

It has now been 2 weeks and with the funeral and the trip to Salt Lake behind me I am back in LA trying to get my life started again. I have been through a sea of emotions. I realize how I had shut her out as much as I could. Just doing what was necessary to see that she was taken care of. Her passing pushed her into the fore front. I spent some extra time driving home from Salt Lake and went though the Eastern side of Utah and Arizona. During the ride I contemplated her life, remembering what the early years were like when she struggled to take care of 6 children and my Dad. I remembered how she had this dissatisfaction about her always wanting something other that what she had. I see that dissatisfaction in myself and now have an understanding of where I got it. I hope that helps me to release it in my self.
I also have been feeling really sad. This too, was something my Mom lived with. The saddest thing is that for so long I didn't feel her. I failed to ask my Mom "what was her greatest regret in her life". I guess I didn't want to know the answer to that. She let us know all the time what she missed or wanted. That lingering dissatisfaction.
I have to apologize if this sounds harsh to those who knew her, but this is just my process. Please don't get me wrong, I loved my mother as a son should, I just didn't like her sometimes.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

My Mom's Funeral speech.

Geraldine Ruth (Isenberg) Newey

The Isenberg’s emigrated from Germany and first settled in Pennsylvania. Mom’s parents Jesse and Blanch Isenberg left with their 5 children and headed West for California. They made it as far as Troy Kansas about 15 miles West of St. Joseph Mo. This is where the car broke down and that is where they settled. Mom was born there on April 30, 1922 the youngest of 6 children, five girls and one brother. Her mother died when she was only 6 years old and sometime later her father remarried and took mom and some of her family and headed to Sacramento Ca. She lived with them for a short while but did not get along well with her step mother. One day her step mother packed up Mom and put her on a bus and sent her unannounced back to Kansas to live with her sisters. They took her in and she was raised by them.

She loved her father and he died when she was 16 and mom was on her own. She graduated from Central High School.

Mom and Dad met on Mom’s 18th birthday. Dad worked at a place that a girlfriend of mom’s worked at. She told Dad that there was a woman he should meet. He called her up and mom said “I don’t even know you”. Dad talked her into going out with him. He shows up all gussied up and his hair all slicked down and he had on this off white suit and these weird square towed shoes… “She thought – what am I getting into.”
Dad was persistent and they were married on Jan 24, 1942. Dad had been in the navy before the war but 6 months before Pear Harbor he was discharged due to an inner ear problem. After Pear Harbor they were married and dad reenlisted this time in the Army.

One of my Dad’s favorite things was cherry pie. Mom told the story of how when dad was over seas she practiced making pie crust. She threw out lots of dough until she got it right. I have to tell you all of her life she made the best pies.

I was born on May the 8th 1944 while the war was still on. It was after that Dad was sent to Siapan and Guam. Mom and dad finally got to have their life together after the war was over. Dad had been trained as a photographer and mom and dad worked as a team taking pictures in night clubs. Mom would take the pictures and dad would work in basement darkroom making the prints that would be delivered to the partiers. Growing up I remember watching my dad make prints in the bathroom that had been turned into a photo lab, today I am a photographer.

We lived several places over the next few years until we ended up in apartments at Rosecrans Field Airport in St Joe. The Missouri river flooded in 1952 and we had to move out. I remember riding in a truck that my dad had borrowed from his boss looking out the window and seeing sand bags holding back the water while we got out. Mom had 4 kids and no place to live. They found an upstairs apartment and we all moved into that small space. Dad borrowed money from a member of the branch Dr. Benson and purchased a parcel of land on Miller Rd. He rented a tent and we moved into it. Mom stood by dad and managed the kids, while dad and members of the church built us a small 4 room house. We moved into that house with dirt floors. This was not her ideal but what was true for her was her family was the most important thing in her life. She made it work and the stuck it out eventually creating a home for 6 children.


What I remember most was that there was never enough money but somehow mom always had food for us and we always sat down as a family and had dinner together. We never went to bed hungry. She was determined that her family would have it better than she did a child.

We always had a garden and we raised the best tomatoes. But we never really raised enough so dad would go to the farmers market in St. Joe and buy bushels of vegetables for mom to can. I remember sitting around in the shade of the house and snapping green beans or husking corn. Mom would can enough for us to eat all year long. Picture this, the heat of Missouri in August, no air conditioning and mom working over a pressure cooker putting up green beans, corn or tomatoes.

Another memory I have was riding in the front seat of the car with my sister and a brother sitting between us. When ever she would have to come to a quick stop she would through out her right arm to keep us in our seats. Of course there was no such thing as seat belts in those days.

Mom worked at different times to earn extra money so she could have things she wanted. She worked at the Christmas tree ornament plant in St. Joe making bubble lights. But mostly she wanted to be a nurse. She had left nursing school to get married because you couldn’t be married and attend the school. Her sister Alice had become a RN and mom had to settle for being a nurse’s aid. For a long time she worked as a surgical tech. at Missouri Methodist Hospital and she loved this. By this time she had 6 kids, worked, made meals, took care of dad and kept the house going.

My mother loved her family, they were the most important thing to her. All her life she felt that when she was a child that she had been passed around from sister to sister or as she would say “from pillar to post”. She was determined that was not going to happen to her children. She made it work in spite of life not meeting her expectations. Both of my parents did the best they could to give their children a life with both parents there. What they got out of that was the family we have today. Thank you Mom for all you did for us.