Being Present

I had a session today with a person and we talked about being present. How does one hold on to their self when they are upset at what is going on out there? One possibility is that we choose upset so we dont have to feel our self. Its a way of deflecting the attention out there on the world so we dont have to look at our self, how we feel, what we need or even just being present.
Winning formula's and strategies came up as ways we have developed to handle life and for some just be able to manage life as it happens. These strategies and winning formulas are what we figured out that works in life so we can succeed and even just get by. Conflict comes up when the world happens out side of our box. The box of what works and what is right and what is wrong.
In this case the relationship was not playing out the way this person expected it to. Their partner operated from a whole different box and there in was the problem.
So how do we stay present when this stuff comes at us the way it does. I say we have to be willing to step out side of the safety of our box and see what is happening from another point of view to be able to be fully present. When we do that we are in the present moment on not just blindly operating from the same old paradigm.
Now this is not easy to do, but the first step to change is seeing what is up from a larger view and then watching it. Just the act of watching requires us to be present and with practice we can begin to make better decisions about what is real and what is not and how to react.